I don’t know what else to believe. I need to think things over. It could be I am too naïve or maybe a lot gullible. I knew I was being lied to but I still would not want anything to get in the way of my happiness. That slipped out wrong — I should not let anything get in the way of my happiness, not even my selfish desires, that is. Psh. I don’t know who’s fooling who. I can never be with anyone who says one thing and does another. Everything is simply a blueprint of what will happen next, one wrong move and all will be ruined. I was told I am loved – I didn’t  believe this is a true story though. I’ll end up discovering those that were kept hidden and I’ll end up cutting someone off, as time would prove.


Oh. Hi.

Let me make this alive again. Back reading, I realized why I stopped using this account — all about “should have been”.

Oh well, let me continue what I started here. ;)

..because it is July 31st sweetie.

I hate it so much that I had to let you go. I love you, I do. It’s just that things are not in my control and obviously not in yours either. I know so well that you love me, I feel it. We tried I know but sometimes there are situations and feelings of others we need to consider. I feel guilty for things I know I’m not at fault. It’s hard for me to actually blame myself but I’m still willing to carry all the load just so you would not blame yourself. I prayed for you. I prayed for us. I knew we’ll be something great, I always prayed we’ll be and it’s sad what we had, had to end. But sweetheart, do know that no matter what, I love you. I can’t promise I’ll forever love you but at this very moment this is what I feel. I love you deeply and as long as you’re capable of smiling and being happy I am fine with that. I’ll be fine with just that. Be safe always. I love you.

June first. Happy fifth.

You spent the day with me. Went some places you knew I’ll love and ate some food you knew will make me smile all smiles.

I don’t know why even the simplest things look grand with you and when they’re gifts from you. Maybe I really love you.

I’m missing you more and loving you even more.

There’s nothing else to say. I know we’re fighting some battle right now, pray we’ll make it through. If not, then that’s okay. I’ll always treasure everything I had with you. Mahal kita.

Of arts and ties. Oh lovely day. <3

He said he’ll teach me how to draw, the basics of it.

Hmm. He tried his best and I just can’t draw! LOL. I drew him a cat and he liked it and that’s enough.

He drew a couple, said it looked like us and I really didn’t think so, honestly. Hihi. The girl’s on skirt and snickers and a blouse with a smiley on the front and hair tied up with strands of hair on the face and the guy’s on pants and tie. I asked him about neck ties. Why are these ties ever invented? What’s it for? He laughed and kissed me, said I ask too many questions.

I borrow a neck tie from papa and he taught me how it’s done a couple of times and I just don’t get it. We end up playing around, I tied it on my hair and used it as a ribbon. I think that’s what neck ties are for. ;)

What a great day.

May 14th.

Keeping promises huh sweetheart? :)

Visiting me, on the first, seventh and fourteenth of the month bukod pa sa ibang araw na bigla ka lang nasulpot sa bahay.

But why do you have these unusual habits pagdating sa akin ha?

First, you, smelling my skin, always and now this: You closed your eyes and touched my face trying to memorize every detail. You touched my eyes, nose down to my lips then to my chin. (Funny you skipped my ears kasi alam mo malakas kiliti ko, hihi) You repeated this a couple of times.

Me: Ano na naman yan ha?

Boss: Kinakabisado ko lang ang bawat detalye ng mukha mo. Para kahit nakapikit ako alam ko. Pag di kita kasama, maalala ko. Kaya kita iguhit.

Me: (speechless, turned red)

Aww. You’re sweet. I love you.

Valentine’s Day.

He visited me. We talked. We laughed. We hugged. He even slow danced with me, though without music. (the sweetest) Hmm. Is that considered a date or what? LOL. Who cares? It does not need to be considered one. After all February 14 is not about having a date. Everything felt good. With him near. I don’t know where this one’s going but hope and pray this ends well. Oh and he kissed me. It’s a kiss on the nose and it gave me the chills. He’s just the cutest.

Thanks boss. :)